Sunday, March 8, 2009

Woody Allen Changed My Life

A couple nights ago, I watched "Vicky Christina Barcelona" and, believe it or not, was inspired to make some much needed changes in my life. I don't know if it was the natural aesthetic of the movie, the freedom exercised by Christina (played by Scarlett Johansson) or the sheer, open insanity of Maria Elena (played by Penelope Cruz), but something just clicked. I knew I had to change my life, or risk never knowing what it could have been. I needed freedom. I needed freedom to live as I would, make mistakes, recover from them, be more and do more.

Freedom, as it happens, is a rather vague idea. Beautiful, but vague just the same. So rather than become a full time poet and attempt to explain said idea, I decided to break it down into three distinct "goals":

Goal #1: Spend less money.
Must realize value of "less is more," "quality over quantity," and "savings over monstrous credit card debt" (which, thank God, I have yet to really accumulate.)

Goal #2: Get a driver's license(!)
Yes, yes, I know - you don't have your driver's license yet?! No, I don't. Why not?! What the fuck is wrong with you?! I don't know, Good God, stop yelling!

Goal #3: Tell the TRUTH.
This one was definitely inspired by the Penelope Cruz insanity, and also by the lovely Scarlett mistake-making (if you can call it that.) I realized that I simply was not being 100% honest with anyone (probably including myself, occasionally.) I needed to be able to be whatever I was going through, at any given time; to stop hiding behind a smile, a peal of laughter; to stop hiding, period.

So, yesterday I made three small but decisive steps in achieving each of these goals.

#1: I unsubscibed to all of my "Sale-mail": e-mails from stores updating me on new merchandise, reduced prices, etc. Less online-shopping means less buying of things I don't really need in the first place.


#2: I took not one, but two driving lessons from my Dad (who is, thankfully, a really good instructor.) I cut too many corners and almost hit a pedestrian (I kid) but the point is that I'm learning.


#3. I told The Coworker how I really felt. He said exactly what I thought he would... He thinks I'm "hot" but he "can't commit." I was perfectly fine until something minorly frustrating happened later that night, prompting me to go into the back room and cry over the thing that was actually upsetting me.


Or was it? I was getting so frustrated with him at the end, and something really did have to be done. It was as if I was bashing my head against a wall repeatedly and then getting mad at the wall for hurting my head. Then suddenly I realized that, "Hey, this wall is a person!" (Not un-similar to the reaction inspired by Snout, no doubt, as Helena and Demitri look on and scoff.) In the end I was simply getting nowhere by trying to "get over it" on my own. I needed the rejection. And honestly a few tears shed is but a small price to pay for my sanity.

So success all around!

And now I must bugger off (not really, though) and attempt to do some homework, damnit! Or maybe I will just stay here and catch up with my amazing bloggy friends.

P.S. Now I have successfully cut myself off from all the at-work flirting, you should be encouraged to hit on me as much as possible. I will return the favor, don't worry :)


  1. i loooooved vicky christina barcelona...i watched it a few weeks ago!

  2. Brilliant post!

    I hope the film is as good as I imagine because I hope to see it soon, although I'm lazy so it probably won't be until the DVD release!!

    You're too right, being honest with others and yourself is so important...what's the point in hiding things from others and yourself? You only live once after all!

    Unfortunately I am not good at taking my advice!

    Good luck with the driving. Good on ya!!

  3. For the briefest moment I thought you'd caved and posted a picture of yourself... um... letting yourself go a little. Maybe if we're lucky in the future...?

    I always feel like I'm leading such a normal and boring life.

    I need to try and find something deep and meaningful to write about; damn those writers that have had truly atrocious lives... they have so much to write about!

  4. Krystal - Yay!

    Lucy - It is out on DVD! Thanks for the props, and don't be afraid - It's really a lot better to have things out in the open air!

  5. OK lover, maybe a picture if you're good. But you should know that I do not look like Penelope Cruz!

    My life is not atrocious. If you read carefully you will notice that nothing ever actually happens here! Even worse? that confession was via text.

    (Also, if you crave deep conversation, feel free to e-mail me via 20sb. I have some pretty confusing topics up my sleeve.)

  6. I know plenty of deep and meaningful topics that pertain to other people... just not my OWN!

    People tend to come to me, as some kind of pillar of wisdom/stability, so I've heard some pretty awesome/awful/amazing things over the years.

    I can only relate fun and interesting experiences I guess... there must be a market for that, right? :)

    I didn't mean your life was atrocious, but I mean that it's out-of-balance enough to be interesting...!

  7. I wasn't saying you don't "know any deep subjects." In fact I was probably just giving you an invitation to talk to me off-blog.

    Out-of-balance... are you calling me unstable? :) Ha, thanks I guess!

    P.S. I am really going to stop flirting with you if you don't start recipricating soon. Just sayin'. Maybe my overt American-ness is a little too much for you?

  8. Wow, I've never had someone threaten to stop flirting before! I could blog about that...

    Um... you're cute!

  9. Haha, you should blog about that! If for no other reason than that I crave the fame (did I just "say" that outloud? I did? Ah, well.)

  10. I so agree with you on how inspiring Vicky Christina Barcelona was! The idea of taking the plunge and leading an unconvential life has always been something I wanted to do and that movie left me with feelings of needing to do more in life than what I have now.

    Great blog! I'll def be back

  11. Yah, it's weird, because it's totally not meant to be inspiring! But then it is.



Come on, tell me how you really feel!