Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Letter To My Lovers

Dear $200 pair of pumps,

I want you. The way I feel when I look at you can only be described as pure, unadulterated lust. (You know you see me staring!) It's embarrassing, but I can't help it. I think of you and imagine how perfect we could be together, what I wouldn't do to have you! And yet I know, deep down, in my heart-of-hearts, that I must pass you by. In the end you would only hurt me, and what was once a joyous and wonderful relationship would turn into a black hole of resentment and despair.

Regretfully,

Your not-so-secret admirer


Dear Starbucks' Grande Cappuccino,

How lovely you are to me! So exactly the opposite of everything I seem to stand for, you invite me in to a place of warm acceptance, and spoil me with affection. A little conservative, to be sure... and true, your corporate lifestyle is not to my taste. But the way you give me exactly what I want, when (and where) I want it, is enough to make me want to see you time and time again! Never too little, never too much, you are there when I need you, and gone when I don't. And did i mention how good you taste?

Affectionately,

Your mid-morning come-and-go


Dear Blogger,

I simply cannot get enough of you. An endless source of wit and wisdom, you are all I need to make the day seem worthwhile. You are always introducing me to new ideas, people, and ways of looking at the world. What can I say? I'm obsessed. Does it hurt to admit it?

Forever yours,

The Weirdo

P.S. I may someday leave you for Wordpress. Don't hate me!

14 comments:

  1. coffee and blogs...is there really anything better?

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  2. If you want, but then who is wordpress? Will you put it to a duel?

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  3. Not to hate on Blogger, but wordpress is great :)

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  4. haha love it... ;) tres funneh x

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  5. Hmm I may someday leave for wordpress as well. But for now blogger provides my cheap trills.

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  6. Thanks Emmie!

    Wordpress confuses the hell out of me! I have technically been in the process of moving for a few days now :)

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  7. I pretty much feel the same sort of lust toward some dior jeans i just can't get out of my head. >_<

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  8. Don't you just hate that? How they toy with our emotions!

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  9. Cool, I may just join you!

    Umm... everyone gets that this a play on words, right? I'm not just talking about shoes, coffee and blogger :) Ah, well.

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  10. they're just big evil teases.

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Come on, tell me how you really feel!